Ranch Hand
Buttermilk, dill, and garlic at levels the Division can only describe as deliberate.
Buttermilk · dill · garlic · onion
On inspection, this popcorn was found bearing buttermilk, dill, garlic, onion, and cracked black pepper in quantities far exceeding category norms. The coating is visible to the naked eye, which investigators note is "kind of the whole problem."
The flavor presents cool and tangy on contact, then sharp, savory, and frankly relentless. Subjects consistently failed to stop eating it during observation. The bag was empty before the report was finished. The report is this bag.
Pre-order
The first run was consumed faster than projected, a failure of forecasting the Division has decided to describe as "demand." The second run is in production. Reserve yours now with an email — no card, no charge today. We confirm before anyone pays, and pre-orders ship first.
- ▸ Quality control: rigorous. Flavor control: failed.
- ▸ Free shipping on orders over $40, applied when the run ships
- ▸ 4.5 oz per bag — a regulation sharing size, rarely shared
- ▸ Ships flat-rate anywhere in the US when the run is released
What you're tasting
- Buttermilk tang, uncontained
- Garlic and onion, premeditated
- Actual dill, in violation of custom
- Black pepper finish, unregistered
Goes well with
- Sandwiches seeking an accomplice
- Extended screen-based sedentary events
- Unlawful Heat, for subjects who escalate
Other flavors
Unlawful Heat
from $18
Smoked chile and garlic applied past the point of oversight. Flavor first. Heat immediately after.
Black Magic
from $18
Sweet, tangy, and hot, found operating together. The Division cannot explain why it works.
Cheese Offense
from $18
Aggressive nacho cheese. It will get on your fingers, and it will stay there.